THE SKY DIDN’T FALL IN…..
How many of you have sent a message you probably shouldn’t have…
The sky didn’t fall in. Yes I’d broken my own resolve. to wait for the best outcome. That outcome being no animosity. Gratitude for the connection. we had, however fleeting. On both sides … with no negative feelings whatsoever.
I sent the message I always said I WOULD NOT.
It wasn’t my best piece of writing, nor was it my worst… it demonstrated that I was frustrated that for all the good we had in our friendship ….only the bad is recalled. And I had tried hard to be the friend they wanted, I know they did the same for me, actually. Anyway it was clearly triggered by another wound ( a couple actually) I needed to heal, which is why it kept coming up for me. …. why I eventually caved and sent the no doubt unexpected and unwelcome message… not that I was ASKING for anything. I know what those wounds are too… I don’t know if you’d call it. a problem with entitlement, one was the need to have the effort I made to do the right thing acknowledged I guess. I can trace that back to childhood a couple of instances of being falsely accused and many more of not having effort acknowledged. Only the bad thing I did was noted. Oh oops just like I did to them. We probably have more in common than can be acknowledged.
NOT STIRRING THE POT
Anyway I wouldn’t speak to me if I were them. We have no. shared interests anymore. As I say healing with no animosity is the goal. How is one to know if it has been achieved? It seems like it’s been a long hard road to head toward that goal though. Not that it has been met.
TIMING
When they were still open to talking to me it was me that was struggling to forgive very unfair treatment. Words are definitely weapons…
SETBACK
I guess I’ve set myself back with my goal a few years. Oh well, like I say the sky didn’t fall in. I’m sure they just ignored the unexpected message and did not let it trouble them. I genuinely wish them well.
THE PROBLEM WITH EGO
It caused the schism in the first place along with fear, along with unwise choices. We find it hard to say while in the midst of a fun friendship.. if these current circumstances don’t continue… I can see this connection fade. That actually I need to think about saying goodbye now. Social media makes that hard. Being kind and consistent makes it even harder… but we are actually allowed to change our minds, or shall we say revise our thoughts, to take lessons learned and move the connection from major to minor. If we had the courage just to say that in the kindest way possible, it might well have stop a hideous blow up, and far less hurt. In my defence I actually tried to do that but wasn’t taken seriously. Leaving things badly is. actually avoidable. Leaving them may not be.
